Gratitude

This evening I was listening to Nichole Nordeman's song "Gratitude" from her Woven and Spun CD. It's been a long time since I've listened to this album, but hearing it again is like seeing an old-time friend. I always feel a tugging in my heart when I hear these lyrics:

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

How often do I thank God for the lessons that come with not getting what I have asked for? How often do I bless the sun when I've asked for rain? Lately, I've been longing for rain in my spirit--the fresh water that brings new life and hope and strength. But maybe God is giving me sun and more sun instead, and maybe it's for a reason. Maybe I need to stop and thank Him for the sun that warms my face in the absence of the rain I think I need.

The bridge of this song goes on to say this:

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need

And isn't that the truth? Even what we often think we absolutely need is usually a world away from what we really do need. And here I often worry about these things as if God doesn't see me here and know what's going on in my life and what I need better than I do. The Bible says to look at the lilies of the field and see how God clothes them even though they do not work for it worry about it. God just takes care of them and gives them what they need, and they are beautiful and free.

And that's what I want for me. I want to be a lily, a grateful lily who isn't always worrying or yearning for something more but glorifies God as He provides in His wisdom and love. I want to be thankful for the sunshine and the rain, the shelter and the stars above, the laughter and fun and the moments that are difficult but build my character. I want to be thankful that I have been so blessed with so much more than I can fathom in my two sweet babies and the best husband a woman could ask for, even if some days make me want to pull out my hair and cry myself to sleep. And I am. I really am thankful. I really am blessed, and I know it. But these lyrics just remind me again just how blessed I am and that I often take for granted everything I have because there is always something more that I think I need...

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .